here's how you can lose me for the course of the lease...
1- name drop incessantly. you cannot beat me,so don't try. i've met 75% of everyone in the "business" - you've just waited on them. big difference!
2- act out dialogue from funny tv shows. who's that guy, that does that great "Rick James" skit and "Player Hater's Ball" and came up with "wayne brady choke a bitch?" Dave Chappelle? Oh, ok, let him do it.
3- play for me, your ross geller casio-made space music. no. i dont like it.
4- repeat stories to me. yes, if you didn't smoke so much pot, you'd totally remember i heard that...
and 5- please, when i have company. do not come in and take over the conversation with your overwhelming personality. just because my friends tolerate me - doesn't mean they'll tolerate you.
bonus- 5a- if me and my guests have a code gesture for you. then you may think about just pulling back altogether and getting some medication.
why can you just come home, smile, say hi, trade up to and nothing over 120 seconds of niceties, offer me a beer, accept my "no thanks" and move into your space. i am so good. im easy about bills, i buy furniture, share movies and am quiet. won't you let me wallow in my pms in peace? please?
i promise if you just back the fuck off, it wont end bad. i swear. think about it. meanwhile, i'll be avoiding you for days on end till i think about how to look you in the eyes.
signed, w
