dear brad:
i'm here if you need me. just waitin' on you.
anytime now...
ok well, just stop on by, door's open...
i mean...i work most nights but i'm sure if i just say to my boss "brad pitt's coming over cause he needs to talk..." i'm sure she'll be just fine with it.
its not like i'm ON Jen's side. its just that aquarius thing...i get her pain. you are so hot, you're a pothead, you like to work with your hands, you are so hot, you're in my favorite macho movie "Fight Club" (just behind "Scarface" but for the sake of argument...and a chance to gitwithcu..), you are so hot...
I get that its beyond what your fans think. We know not what we do - its almost like Us Weekly just shows up on my doorstep like a lost puppy. Pages flipping in the wind, shiny, pointy things jutting at me, begging me to scoop it up into my devil's playthings.
Oh! No...I hear you. We are righthere, homey. Just heard you were opening up to GQ, thought I could open up...er...hrrm, you would want to open up to me too! I'm a great listener.
But that's just crazy talk...
Ok, see you next week. Or two weeks...
